Re: Mind your 'Language' - PLEASE READ

by **This Land** Fri Apr 17, 2020 1:17 am

i Kelly wrote:Personally, unless someone is recurringly cursing or it escalates beyond just a single curse word in one sentence, that it's usually just easier to try to change the subject. Worst case scenario, if a single user becomes a frequent flier in the potty mouth category, trying to reach out to them by PM or Discord might help, too?

Overall, definitely agree; I've seen a few times where someone just says something a bit risque and everyone heads to the "Language!" retort. It doesn't always help the situation, especially if whoever did the cursing didn't realize the rules or feels bad/embarrassed about it.

It makes me happy to see so many people have read this and hopefully can deter people from just simply saying "Language!" to gauging different methods of de-escalating the situation.

Agreed, and generally because situations in our cc very rarely become 'escalated / more extreme' a very quick / simple "Hey bud, just FYI we have a no swearing rule please" is more than sufficient and in every scenario I've used it has come back with an apology of some kind and that's it, conversation over and forgotten about Smile

by **ladybird2** Fri Apr 17, 2020 7:20 am

One of the things that triggers people is the seeming overkill if several people remark, and we have no way of dealing with that. It doesnt have to be a rank that replies, anyone can, and those that read our rules are aware, and more often than not have chosen the clan because it has such rules and so seek to uphold them.
I'm not making excuses for either the offender or the person/people that deal with it, and hopefully they will learn by example what gets the best reaction, and allows us to move on. Sometimes when you sit in cc as long as I often do, there are some that flaunt the rules...and know it, and they may well get a much sharper reminder, which could sound unjust to someone who isnt aware.....or delight trolls...its a fine line.

by **This Land** Fri Apr 17, 2020 11:33 am

ladybird2 wrote:One of the things that triggers people is the seeming overkill if several people remark, and we have no way of dealing with that. It doesnt have to be a rank that replies, anyone can, and those that read our rules are aware, and more often than not have chosen the clan because it has such rules and so seek to uphold them.
I'm not making excuses for either the offender or the person/people that deal with it, and hopefully they will learn by example what gets the best reaction, and allows us to move on. Sometimes when you sit in cc as long as I often do, there are some that flaunt the rules...and know it, and they may well get a much sharper reminder, which could sound unjust to someone who isnt aware.....or delight trolls...its a fine line.

Persistent 'offenders' should be dealt with differently depending on the situation, i.e.
- Messaged privately by an appropriate person for a formal last warning or the clan equivalent
- Kicked instantly if it's really no accident and they're fully known to be a 'flaunter'
- Potentially added to the ignore list to prevent them from returning for 'x' period of time or permanently

IMO I don't think harsher or sharper reminders publicly in the cc do anything but make the situation worse when 99% of people who are active members with a rank never break this rule anyway, where our long-term friends who don't want a rank b/c they don't like offsites are included in that large percentage - though that's just my opinion of course

by **ladybird2** Mon Apr 20, 2020 2:05 pm

The harshest reminder from me for a persistent offender is...'last warning'. Any or all of the other suggestions do happen at the discretion of the mods, and they do get recorded in our private section, so that we are aware and all on the same page.
My other comments on the matter havent changed since April 16th 2019.

by **WeaknSilly** Mon May 04, 2020 8:33 pm

I'm glad someone posted about this Smile

by **Read** Tue May 05, 2020 10:58 pm

Great suggestions! An informative and gentle policy statement is much more tactful than spouting "language" and is much more likely to get a good response.